Wednesday, December 9, 2009

The portrait of the Artist.... the ultimate culmination of art and identity.

I truly have never met a more lost or confused soul than the soul of Stephen Dedalus in James Joyce's Portrait.

This boy is a mess

from sleeping with whores, to commiting a slew of other sins he is the ultimate example of the Byronic hero. a dandy. a man lacking the stength to be moral, do the right thing or even ACT at all.

The Hollow Men by T. S. Eliot
Mistah Kurtz -- he dead.A penny for the Old Guy
I
We are the hollow men
We are the stuffed men
Leaning together
Headpiece filled with straw.
Alas!Our dried voices,
whenWe whisper together
Are quiet and meaningless
As wind in dry grassOr rats' feet over broken glass
In our dry cellarShape without form,
shade without colour,
Paralysed force, gesture without motion;
Those who have crossed
With direct eyes, to death's other Kingdom
Remember us -- if at all -- not as lost
Violent souls, but onlyAs the hollow men
The stuffed men.
IIEyes I dare not meet in dreams
In death's dream kingdom
These do not appear:
There, the eyes are
Sunlight on a broken column
There, is a tree swinging
And voices are
In the wind's singing
More distant and more solemn
Than a fading star.Let me be no nearer
In death's dream kingdom
Let me also wear
Such deliberate disguises
Rat's coat, crowskin, crossed staves
In a field
Behaving as the wind behaves
No nearer --Not that final meeting
In the twilight kingdom
III
This is the dead land
This is cactus land
Here the stone images
Are raised, here they receive
The supplication of a dead man's hand
Under the twinkle of a fading star.
Is it like this
In death's other kingdom
Waking alone
At the hour when we are
Trembling with tenderness
Lips that would kiss
Form prayers to broken stone.
IV
The eyes are not here
There are no eyes here
In this valley of dying stars
In this hollow valley
This broken jaw of our lost kingdoms
In this last of meeting places
We grope together
And avoid speech
Gathered on this beach of the tumid river
Sightless, unless
The eyes reappear
As the perpetual star
Multifoliate rose
Of death's twilight kingdom
The hope only
Of empty men.
V
Here we go round the prickly pear
Prickly pear prickly pear
Here we go round the prickly pear
At five o'clock in the morning.
Between the idea
And the reality
Between the motion
And the act
Falls the Shadow
For Thine is the Kingdom
Between the conception
And the creation
Between the emotion
And the response
Falls the ShadowLife
is very long
Between the desire
And the spasm
Between the potency
And the existence
Between the essence
And the descent
Falls the Shadow
For Thine is the Kingdom
For Thine is
Life is
For Thine is theThis is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper.

Stephen is a hollow man his sinfull lips are prayers that fall to broken stone.
he is between the existance and the essence.

OH how my heart reaches out.
For I to am a hollow man, a dead man.
Lacking the courage to be strong I live in a catus land by the supplication of the dead mans hand
Like Stephen I stuggle to have an identity at all.

Im a nobody
who are you?
are you a nobody too?

Identity is a question that will continue to plauge not only my concious but that of poets, authors, musicanians etc.

It is a question that can never be truly answered.

Andy Goldsworthy.. and IDENTITY

As my quest for the descovery for identiy continues I met the most extrodinary artist.
His name is Andy Goldsworthy.... and he is not your average painter. he is a naturalist.
He uses things such as wood, ice and stone to create the most intricate pieces of art that I have ever seen.
and his words left me searching my soul for the identity of my form of art.

"As with all my work, whether it's a leaf on a rock or ice on a rock, I'm trying to get beneath the surface appearance of things. Working the surface of a stone is an attempt to understand the internal energy of the stone."


"Confrontation is something that I accept as part of the project though not its purpose."

AH Andy understands the stuggle to find his art in a stone, leaf, or rock he accepts a confrontation although it is not desired.

How true is this for identity?!!
We spend our lives doing things that create who WE are
can we not create beauty that only ADDS to our character?!

My art is much like Andy's I train horses. I teach them to dance, to placce horse and rider together as two hearts and one soul.
and confrontation is something in life that I have accepted.
this have helped to shape my rough, tough identity.
Andy Goldsworthy understands the struggle. and in doing so he has truly found his soul in a world where no one even knows where to start looking for theirs.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

King Lear: Who is her, why is he here, and what does he teach about identitiy?

King Lear is in my opinion the most complex of Shakespeare's plays, however it is probably the most overlooked as well. People are able to follow the plot, but what does it mean? and how does it relate to the idea of finding identity?
King Lear. anyone who knows the story will tell you that he is arguably insane, that his rash actions spout from an almost bipolar disorder.
He banishes the only daughter that loved him, gave up his power to those who would betray him, and acts as though he never saw it coming.
But as Emily Dickinson say. Madness, divinest sense, to a discerning eye; meaning that King Lear may not be insane but actually be logical if one can place a "discerning eye" on the character.
Obviously from Lear's title we know that he is a king; but by his OWN RIGHT gives up his power to his two eldest daughters who act as though their reason for living is to drive their "mad" father to the breaking point of insanity.
So it begs the question who is Lear? if his kingship does not mean enough to him to keep than it obviously does not define his character.
So we look further.....
Lear becomes homeless and we (the readers) are left to deciphere his random babbling with a fine toothed comb, praying to find some glint of truth, of sense.
And then I found my piece of truth:
In act three, arguably the most climatic scene of the play Lear's emotions erupt; they are raw, and almost animistic:
He rages in the storm of the century.... screaming for his loss, "Blow winds blow! and crack your cheeks! RAGE! blow! You cataracts and hurricanos, spout Till you have drenched our steeples, the clocks.... Crack nature's molds, all germens spill at once
THAT MAKES INGRATEFUL MAN." (Act 3 Sec. 2 page 127)
Here we see Lear's truth!!!
He says Crack natures molds, all germens (seeds) spill (destroy) at once.
Lear realizes that his daughters are evil, treacherous beasts whom love him no more than they love an insect.
Heartbroken Lear says that he has been foolish, an "ingrateful man".
So Lear isn't mentally off his rocker, but he is crazy with reality.... he understands that he was blinded by the lavish words of his eldest two daughters.
Lear's character is further defined by the death of Cordelia, his youngest daughter. It was she that loved him, cared for him, no matter if he was a powerful king with loads of physical possessions or when he was in tatters, without a home or any sort of power.
Through Cordelia Lear reveals another side of his identity: his caring heart.
Even after Cordelia is dead Lear carries her dead body around poking her face telling her to just "stay awhile" His grief shows that his madness is not truly "mad" but instead it is LOGICAL.
Through his surroundings Lear's character is defined, his loss of power, the betrayal of his daughters, and the death of the "innocent flower", Cordelia, the daughter whose love could not be portrayed with mere diction but instead was portrayed with her tragic death. This defines Lear's character.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Who am I? The big question.

How do we form and shape our identities, and once we discover who it is that we are how does it define us?
From the time that I was a little girl I have struggled with the age old question "WHO AM I???" and "how do I KNOW??" As I've grown up I have gone through all the stages that most girls go through,
ya know the ones?......The princess stage, the dress up stage, the valley girl stage and so on and so forth.
But I knew that these persona's were not WHO I was but instead a mask that I wore. I realized that I could be anyone. Perhaps I'd be a British school girl one day and a country gal the next. So my favorite question to ask myself is 'who am I' what is my purpose, and how do I define myself?
As an Eighteen year old many things have changed in my life, people move on, those that used to love you forget that you exist, acquaintances fail to remember your name. You become lost to them, and lost to yourself. I catch myself still wondering who exactly I am.

I mean am I the pretty girl? the smart AP kid? perhaps an athlete? Do I know? does anyone really know?

And throughout my young adult years I have come to the conclusion that what you do can change, everyday if you wish, but who you desire to be the most ultimately is who you become. To me you discover your identity when faced with a moment in life that defines your character to the point where there is no going back, or changing the past.

I have had many defining moments in my young life, some proud, some hard, many very sad.
but through them I finally can answer "Who am I"

I am many things.

I am the smart AP kid

I am the Athlete.

I am the pretty girl.

I am a redneck cowgirl.

I am ME.

So often society attempts to put us into boxes, to label people in order to make them easier to accept.

This is a facally. If I was placed in the dictionary I would like to be labeled as indefinable.
My identity will morph and alter as the years go on, that I am most positive of, but I will always be a variation of that little girl I used to be with the honey brown curls and a head full of dreams.
I will never let this world tell me who I am, because there is no defining...me.


2.
Over the summer I had the great pleasure in reading the fantastic novel The Outlander by Gil Adamson. This novel absolutely captivated me. The main character is a young beautiful widow whom is running from the law for murdering her abusive husband. Mary faces ridiculous odds. She decides that running away from everything she knew was the best way to forget her past but as she discovers... you simply cannot run from yourself.
Throughout the novel Mary battles with delusions, who is she, did she ever know? I can relate to Mary and her identity crisis...
she woke in the lonely wood startled, who was there? could they here her? Her? or was she an it? Mary struggled to know who she was, "was this real" Mary starts the book without knowing anything about herself. She just knows that she was supposed to be a good wife... and "learn to love" her husband.

Throughout the novel Mary turns from a sniveling girl to a strong woman. She changes and adapts to her life and realizes that only YOU can define who you are and that what you do with that identity is entirely up to you. She reminds me of myself. Strong, independent, non needing.

3.1. How does Oedipus help to answer or address your big question? Reflect on some pertinent textual details and ideas from those books.\

Oedipus Rex also addresses identity, Oedipus struggles with his identity his entire life, although perhaps unknowingly.

He proves that identity is LEARNED and developed by how we want the world to see us.

Oedipus was the King of Thebes and the people viewed him the way he viewed himself.

Haughty

Stuck-up

SMART MOUTH

Leader

However as the play progresses and Oedipus realizes that he is a "damned creation." He has SLEPT with his mother for chissake he becomes a different person. He blames himself for Thebes failure as a city.

Alas, how can I speak to them?
What right do I have To beg his courtesy? Ones whom I've so deeply wronged.

Oedipus


He replaces that king identity with feelings of deep regret.

He allows himself to be defined by his actions, and thereby it changes how we view our identities.

Mary in Outlander finds who she is through hardships.

Oedipus in Oedipus Rex changes who he was after he knows his wrongs.

And Me??

My identity will continue to change, to grow.
It will wax and wane as the sea, it will grow me up and help me to avoid becoming a dictionary definition. but instead I will be indefinable by societal displays. and only understandable to myself.

For once you understand yourself than you truly comprehend who you are.



How do we form and shape our identities, and once we discover who is is that we are how does it define us?
1.
From the time that I was a little girl I have struggled with the age old question "WHO AM I???" and "how do I KNOW??" As I've grown up I have gone through all the stages that most girls go through,
ya know the ones?......The princess stage, the dress up stage, the valley girl stage and so on and so forth.
But I knew that these persona's were not WHO I was but instead a mask that I wore. I realized that I could be anyone. Perhaps I'd be a British school girl one day and a country gal the next. So my favorite question to ask myself is 'who am I' what is my purpose, and how do I define myself?
As an Eighteen year old many things have changed in my life, people move on, those that used to love you forget that you exist, acquaintances fail to remember your name. You become lost to them, and lost to yourself. I catch myself still wondering who exactly I am.

I mean am I the pretty girl? the smart AP kid? perhaps an athlete? Do I know? does anyone really know?

And throughout my young adult years I have come to the conclusion that what you do can change, everyday if you wish, but who you desire to be the most ultimately is who you become. To me you discover your identity when faced with a moment in life that defines your character to the point where there is no going back, or changing the past.

I have had many defining moments in my young life, some proud, some hard, many very sad.
but through them I finally can answer "Who am I"

I am many things.

I am the smart AP kid

I am the Athlete.

I am the pretty girl.

I am a redneck cowgirl.

I am ME.

So often society attempts to put us into boxes, to label people in order to make them easier to accept.

This is a facally. If I was placed in the dictionary I would like to be labeled as indefinable.
My identity will morph and alter as the years go on, that I am most positive of, but I will always be a variation of that little girl I used to be with the honey brown curls and a head full of dreams.
I will never let this world tell me who I am, because there is no defining...me.


2.
Over the summer I had the great pleasure in reading the fantastic novel The Outlander by Gil Adamson. This novel absolutely captivated me. The main character is a young beautiful widow whom is running from the law for murdering her abusive husband. Mary faces ridiculous odds. She decides that running away from everything she knew was the best way to forget her past but as she discovers... you simply cannot run from yourself.
Throughout the novel Mary battles with delusions, who is she, did she ever know? I can relate to Mary and her identity crisis...
she woke in the lonely wood startled, who was there? could they here her? Her? or was she an it? Mary struggled to know who she was, "was this real" Mary starts the book without knowing anything about herself. She just knows that she was supposed to be a good wife... and "learn to love" her husband.

Throughout the novel Mary turns from a sniveling girl to a strong woman. She changes and adapts to her life and realizes that only YOU can define who you are and that what you do with that identity is entirely up to you. She reminds me of myself. Strong, independent, non needing.

3.
Oedipus Rex also addresses identity, Oedipus struggles with his identity his entire life, although perhaps unknowingly.

He proves that identity is LEARNED and developed by how we want the world to see us.

Oedipus was the King of Thebes and the people viewed him the way he viewed himself.

Haughty

Stuck-up

SMART MOUTH

Leader

However as the play progresses and Oedipus realizes that he is a "damned creation." He has SLEPT with his mother for chissake he becomes a different person. He blames himself for Thebes failure as a city.

Alas, how can I speak to them?
What right do I have To beg his courtesy? Ones whom I've so deeply wronged.

Oedipus


He replaces that king identity with feelings of deep regret.

He allows himself to be defined by his actions, and thereby it changes how we view our identities.

Mary in Outlander finds who she is through hardships.

Oedipus in Oedipus Rex changes who he was after he knows his wrongs.

And Me??

My identity will continue to change, to grow.
It will wax and wane as the sea, it will grow me up and help me to avoid becoming a dictionary definition. but instead I will be indefinable by societal displays. and only understandable to myself.

For once you understand yourself than you truly comprehend who you are.


How do we form and shape our identities, and once we discover who is is that we are how does it define us?
1.
From the time that I was a little girl I have struggled with the age old question "WHO AM I???" and "how do I KNOW??" As I've grown up I have gone through all the stages that most girls go through,
ya know the ones?......The princess stage, the dress up stage, the valley girl stage and so on and so forth.
But I knew that these persona's were not WHO I was but instead a mask that I wore. I realized that I could be anyone. Perhaps I'd be a British school girl one day and a country gal the next. So my favorite question to ask myself is 'who am I' what is my purpose, and how do I define myself?
As an Eighteen year old many things have changed in my life, people move on, those that used to love you forget that you exist, acquaintances fail to remember your name. You become lost to them, and lost to yourself. I catch myself still wondering who exactly I am.

I mean am I the pretty girl? the smart AP kid? perhaps an athlete? Do I know? does anyone really know?

And throughout my young adult years I have come to the conclusion that what you do can change, everyday if you wish, but who you desire to be the most ultimately is who you become. To me you discover your identity when faced with a moment in life that defines your character to the point where there is no going back, or changing the past.

I have had many defining moments in my young life, some proud, some hard, many very sad.
but through them I finally can answer "Who am I"

I am many things.

I am the smart AP kid

I am the Athlete.

I am the pretty girl.

I am a redneck cowgirl.

I am ME.

So often society attempts to put us into boxes, to label people in order to make them easier to accept.

This is a facally. If I was placed in the dictionary I would like to be labeled as indefinable.
My identity will morph and alter as the years go on, that I am most positive of, but I will always be a variation of that little girl I used to be with the honey brown curls and a head full of dreams.
I will never let this world tell me who I am, because there is no defining...me.


2.
Over the summer I had the great pleasure in reading the fantastic novel The Outlander by Gil Adamson. This novel absolutely captivated me. The main character is a young beautiful widow whom is running from the law for murdering her abusive husband. Mary faces ridiculous odds. She decides that running away from everything she knew was the best way to forget her past but as she discovers... you simply cannot run from yourself.
Throughout the novel Mary battles with delusions, who is she, did she ever know? I can relate to Mary and her identity crisis...
she woke in the lonely wood startled, who was there? could they here her? Her? or was she an it? Mary struggled to know who she was, "was this real" Mary starts the book without knowing anything about herself. She just knows that she was supposed to be a good wife... and "learn to love" her husband.

Throughout the novel Mary turns from a sniveling girl to a strong woman. She changes and adapts to her life and realizes that only YOU can define who you are and that what you do with that identity is entirely up to you. She reminds me of myself. Strong, independent, non needing.

3.1. How does Oedipus help to answer or address your big question? Reflect on some pertinent textual details and ideas from those books.\

Oedipus Rex also addresses identity, Oedipus struggles with his identity his entire life, although perhaps unknowingly.

He proves that identity is LEARNED and developed by how we want the world to see us.

Oedipus was the King of Thebes and the people viewed him the way he viewed himself.

Haughty

Stuck-up

SMART MOUTH

Leader

However as the play progresses and Oedipus realizes that he is a "damned creation." He has SLEPT with his mother for chissake he becomes a different person. He blames himself for Thebes failure as a city.

Alas, how can I speak to them?
What right do I have To beg his courtesy? Ones whom I've so deeply wronged.

Oedipus


He replaces that king identity with feelings of deep regret.

He allows himself to be defined by his actions, and thereby it changes how we view our identities.

Mary in Outlander finds who she is through hardships.

Oedipus in Oedipus Rex changes who he was after he knows his wrongs.

And Me??

My identity will continue to change, to grow.
It will wax and wane as the sea, it will grow me up and help me to avoid becoming a dictionary definition. but instead I will be indefinable by societal displays. and only understandable to myself.

For once you understand yourself than you truly comprehend who you are.